The Joy Of Not Knowing

I have a really good colleague of mine that I do some video work for and we have a great business and personal relationship. We’ve worked on numerous projects and have gotten each other business several times. He happens to be white, and we’ve never had any issues with race, color, status, or creed. But that’s generally normal for me.

We’ve done all types of corporate work, been around plenty of million dollar clients and have done a tremendous amount of creative projects. There’s been times where we were able to handle it ourselves, and other times where he brought in an assistant of his to help us out.

Recently we had a big project where his assistants weren’t available so he asked if I had anyone who could help out and such, so I made a recommendation and confirmed their availability. Because I know what kind of world we live in and what being black in business has taught me, I told him that my associate was another black guy and asked would that cause a problem with some of his clients by having not one, but two brothers show up on the set.

He was floored.

He honestly could not wrap his head around the fact that things like that actually have to be thought about when being black in business. He was intrigued to know more. So I told him stories of showing up for consultations with clients, to then showing up to the do the work with my associates and we get funny looks and everyone feels uncomfortable. And even at some weddings where I’ve showed up at the rehearsal to funny looks and people stopping me like I’m obviously in the wrong place, then the next day treating me and my staff like a bunch of outcasts, I thought it was important to have the conversation with my colleague before we set up this major shoot.

The best example I have of this phenomenon (if I can call it that), was a two day documentary shoot I had. I wasn’t able to get my 1st PA for both days. So I alternated between my 1st PA and my 2nd PA. One was white, the other one was black. The client and all of his associates and interviewees were white. I can honestly sit here and say that there was a big difference in how my PAs were treated on those days, to the point where I had to say something about it. I was quite appalled that people would be so ignorant.

So once I filled my colleague in on my thoughts about, he said it should be just fine and was now glad to have that insight on how some of us (blacks) have to think when doing business. We’ve talked about it several times since and he’s still amazed. He’s told me on several occasions “I had no idea what you guys had to go through”.

And that’s the joy of not knowing. When you’re not really a victim of anything, you kind of go on living your life just to be living it without regard for those who are victims. His ignorance of the race card in black business had done him justice up until that day. I can’t say it was comforting to see him marvel over why I had to think about stuff like that, because it was kind of sad to me to think about it as well. But it was an opportunity to share and learn. And I think it’s important for all of us who are black in business to consider our welcoming situations and our non-welcoming situations.

We still work together. But he has a new respect for me and my authenticity. And I’m sure he’s probably gained it for some of his other black colleagues as well.

The joy of not knowing…